Step 5
Previously I discussed the need to start recognizing how often you are experiencing "problems" on a day-to-day basis. Remember that problems are just situations that has not caused anxiety symptoms yet. But it is still included in the broader sense of anxiety used in the Deconstructing Anxiety Method.
Because you may not experience any physical symptoms until it reaches the clinical anxiety level, I advised that you look for when you use one of your defenses. If a defense was used, that means there had to have been something that you thought was a threat or scary and it required you to defend against it.
A second approach that you should start using often is to ask yourself two questions. If you answer “yes” to both of the questions, that means you are making the decision out of “freedom of choice”.
Whereas, if you answer “no” to either or both of the questions, you are making the decision based on reducing your anxiety level, which you will need to use one of your defenses, which will backfire in some way.
Question 1: I am 100% OK with ___________.
Example: I am 100% OK with exercising right now.
Question 2: I am 100% OK with not _________.
Example: I am 100% OK with not exercising right now.
Only when you are OK with exercising and at the same time not exercising, can you truly make a decision out of freedom of choice. Meaning, you get to choose which one you want to do freely. Not out of anxiety.
For example, if you want to lose 25 pounds before summer and you "feel" like you have to exercise, you are not exercising out of freedom of choice, you were choosing to exercise out of anxiousness out of fear of not losing the 25 pounds. Choosing something out of fear may help you achieve your goal, but remember that anytime you have a fear response and you use a defense, it will backfire.
Anytime someone makes a choice out of freedom they are more likely to be successful in completing their goals versus someone who makes a choice out of anxiety for the same goal.